Tell her she can't have a vagina
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
