What a fucking waste of an outfit
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
