He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
