I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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