what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
