Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
