dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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