When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
