I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
