I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
