Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
