The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
