i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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