he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
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