They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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