he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
