im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
