i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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