if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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