Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
