so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize