it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
