Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
