careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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