i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
