Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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