Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
