my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize