Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
We left an ass print on the piano.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
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