I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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