i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Just high enough for therapy.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
