I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
