she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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