My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Randomize
