dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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