one two three fourrrrnication!
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
