Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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