he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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