Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
