Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
