Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
