O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
