in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
