last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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