Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
