you're like a bully in the Christmas story
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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