He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
