Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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