i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
