Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
