There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Do vagina's smell?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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