so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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