Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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