no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
