Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
